L'Annuaire Du Peuple - Fiche N03: Le Snowbird

Specimen N03: Le Snowbird. A migratory subspecies native to Quebec, observed annually between November and April. Subject exhibits a compulsive southward trajectory, drawn by an instinctual need for temperatures above -20°C and the availability of 'all-inclusive' resorts. The Snowbird is easily identified by its uniform: a uniform of cargo shorts, a polo shirt with a faint sweat stain from a previous day's piña colada, and a sunburn that fades to a tan only as the return flight departs. Behavior includes: loudly complaining about the 'cold snap' in Florida (when it drops to 18°C), dominating the poolside with a copy of a French-language thriller, and returning with a suitcase full of souvenirs that no one asked for. The Snowbird's call is a distinctive, nasal 'Ben voyons donc!' when confronted with a price increase on a beach chair. This specimen is not to be confused with the 'Snowbunny,' a separate species that migrates for entirely different reasons. Observation notes: The Snowbird's internal calendar is set to 'perpetual vacation mode,' a state that persists for approximately two weeks after return, until the first snowstorm of the season triggers the next migration impulse.