{"product_id":"fiche-n01-le-douchebag-du-beach-club","title":"Fiche N01 — Le Douchebag du Beach Club","description":"Specimen observed: Male, early thirties. Posture: leaning against a poolside cabana, one hand gripping a bottle of imported lager, the other gesturing vaguely at the horizon. Vocalizations: a monotone recitation of his weekend itinerary, punctuated by the word 'bro'. Habitat: the VIP section of any beach club in the Laurentians, where the ambient bass frequency appears to be his natural calling card. Behavior: He will approach any group of females with the opening line, 'You guys seen the sunset?' — a question to which he already knows the answer, as he has been tracking its progress since 4 PM. Notable traits: a tan line from his sunglasses that suggests a recent purchase; a bracelet woven from what appears to be a recycled life jacket. Conclusion: A harmless but loud species, best observed from a distance of at least two meters. Recommended action: Nod politely, then order another drink at the bar.","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"11oz","offer_id":48046755152102,"sku":"14359230580310040927","price":16.99,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true},{"title":"15oz","offer_id":48046755184870,"sku":"32588820939155191465","price":16.99,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0766\/0122\/9542\/files\/6740467478990698333_2048.jpg?v=1785095846","url":"https:\/\/thatsfunnyiwanttowearit.com\/products\/fiche-n01-le-douchebag-du-beach-club","provider":"ThatsFunnyIWantToWearIt","version":"1.0","type":"link"}